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Posted by Larry Jaques on March 25, 2006, 9:00 am
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On Fri, 24 Mar 2006 21:23:35 -0600, with neither quill nor qualm,
>And Engineering jobs shift to India.
It gets better! This just in:
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of April 20, 2006.
The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.
"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should
be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds,
with the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has studied
outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain
competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,"
Reynolds noted. Both political parties view this process as a
positive step in re-uniting the citizens of the U.S.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming
the office of President as of April 20. Mr. Singh was born in the
United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara
Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a
salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other
benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the US Government will be open.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American
Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I
am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President
someday."
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President,
this should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the
issues either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable
him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these
canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to
understand the underlying issues at all.
"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"President Bush has used them successfully for years."
Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will
be eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately
he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits
will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided the
outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and
prepare for his upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter
position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience
shaking hands and smiling no matter what the circumstances.
Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air
National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should
he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a
month, before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited.
"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who
gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad
Airport's terminal and gift shop. Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say
Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have
asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might
arrange an appropriate welcome.
--
-------------------------------------------------------
Never underestimate the innate animosity of inanimate objects.
----
http://diversify.com NoteSHADES(tm) laptop privacy/glare guards
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Posted by Stealth Pilot on March 25, 2006, 9:43 am
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On Sat, 25 Mar 2006 06:00:37 -0800, Larry Jaques
>On Fri, 24 Mar 2006 21:23:35 -0600, with neither quill nor qualm,
>
>>And Engineering jobs shift to India.
>
>It gets better! This just in:
>
>Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
>States of America will be outsourced to India as of April 20, 2006.
>The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
top marks. this piece of satire was top class. :-)
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Posted by Hawke on March 27, 2006, 11:01 pm
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> >On Fri, 24 Mar 2006 21:23:35 -0600, with neither quill nor qualm,
> >
> >>And Engineering jobs shift to India.
> >
> >It gets better! This just in:
> >
> >Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
> >States of America will be outsourced to India as of April 20, 2006.
> >The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
>
> top marks. this piece of satire was top class. :-)
As is often the case humor can be most insightful. While it may be amusing
to think of outsourcing the presidency just like any other job in this
country it does point out a larger problem for American workers, namely what
are they going to do to make a living. What happens when you combine
outsourcing with bringing in massive numbers of nearly third world level
workers to the US? You say good bye to American workers.
What is happening is that jobs are being taken from Americans and handed to
foreign workers overseas. At the same time corporations are bringing in
Mexicans to take jobs from Americans that they can't outsource. The logical
end of such a policy is for almost all American workers to lose their jobs
and see foreign workers doing them for far less pay. What you have left is
an America where all the jobs that made the country great are either gone or
are filled by third world illegal immigrants. So the bad news is that sooner
or later most jobs are going to be taken away from Americans and given to
someone else.
On the plus side is that such a policy is very good for the profit margin of
the companies who got rid of all their American workers and replaced them
with foreign workers. Replacing all your American workers with Mexicans or
overseas workers really does a lot to beef up the profits in a corporation.
The question is what do we do? What's good for the profit margins of the
corporations or what's good for the American worker. Since Bush and the
republicans rule the country the question has already been answered. Bye,
bye American workers.
Hawke
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Posted by Stealth Pilot on March 28, 2006, 4:55 am
Please log in for more thread options wrote:
>
>> >On Fri, 24 Mar 2006 21:23:35 -0600, with neither quill nor qualm,
>> >
>> >>And Engineering jobs shift to India.
>> >
>> >It gets better! This just in:
>> >
>> >Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
>> >States of America will be outsourced to India as of April 20, 2006.
>> >The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
>>
>> top marks. this piece of satire was top class. :-)
>
>
>As is often the case humor can be most insightful. While it may be amusing
>to think of outsourcing the presidency just like any other job in this
>country it does point out a larger problem for American workers, namely what
>are they going to do to make a living. What happens when you combine
>
>Hawke
>
hmmm two thoughts.
a population backed to the wall may eventually resort to a solution
that requires a good aim. I dont know that that is always good.
also there is an element of pessimism in what you write that may not
be valid. what is the situation in canada just north over the border.
do they share the same pessimism regarding the future? I doubt it.
in australia we dont have the mexican border but we do have migration
from over 200 countries around the world. our economy is certainly
different from the days of my youth but our economy seems to still be
surviving. we are insulated from the fears that you have in america to
some extent because our welfare system works.
no one on welfare makes any profit from the experience but we
certainly dont starve.
we are going through privatisation of our government enterprises
because back in the 60's and 70's an enormous portion of enterprise in
australia was government run. there were almost no opportunities for
innovation or even business. our economy was stagnant and poorly
performing. the government has been turning over enterprises to the
private sector to increase operational efficiencies. this has caused
some unsettling of our population but by and large it seems to be
working.
for those of us who have made the change into private business life
life has certainly been different. for me almost all the things I
feared as a public service employee have come to pass but I have lived
through the experiences without any of the feared consequences.
I've been retrenched, had an airline collapse evaporate employment
opportunities, had degree studies terminated ...all supposedly
traumatic. tomorrow (truely) I start in a new job on higher money than
ever.
your experiences may be more difficult because you americans really
dont have a good national approach to social welfare.
my direct experience in the australian economy shows me that there is
no need for the pessimism. all pessimism does is to blind you to
opportunities.
my advise, free/worthless as it is, is that you need to stay
optimistic, stay mentally active and try to broaden your circle of
contacts and aquaintances.
optimism will have you seeing opportunities as you encounter them.
being mentally active brightens your outlook on life which makes you
pleasant to be around and keeps you employable.
the circle of friends and aquaintances are your over the horizon radar
for opportunities. listen to them! stay alert for opportunities.
the job I start in tomorrow came from a chance comment made by a
friend that I saw as an opportunity. had I been a pessimist I would
never have realised that the problem he was discussing presented me
with an opportunity.
none of us can predict the future and certainly it seems daunting at
times but I assure you it is nothing to fear. stop reading news papers
and listening to the news on the telly and your life will regain its
balance.
btw I never intended to give advise on rec.crafts.metalworking but my
experiences seem relevant. I was actually after some motivation to
either get in and machine up a vw engine for my aeroplane :-) or
finish a steam engine.
Stealth Pilot
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Posted by Ken Finney on March 28, 2006, 12:01 pm
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> wrote:
>
>>
>>> >On Fri, 24 Mar 2006 21:23:35 -0600, with neither quill nor qualm,
>>> >
>>> >>And Engineering jobs shift to India.
>>> >
>>> >It gets better! This just in:
>>> >
>>> >Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
>>> >States of America will be outsourced to India as of April 20, 2006.
>>> >The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
>>>
>>> top marks. this piece of satire was top class. :-)
>>
>>
>>As is often the case humor can be most insightful. While it may be amusing
>>to think of outsourcing the presidency just like any other job in this
>>country it does point out a larger problem for American workers, namely
>>what
>>are they going to do to make a living. What happens when you combine
>
>>
>>Hawke
>>
> hmmm two thoughts.
> a population backed to the wall may eventually resort to a solution
> that requires a good aim. I dont know that that is always good.
>
> also there is an element of pessimism in what you write that may not
> be valid. what is the situation in canada just north over the border.
> do they share the same pessimism regarding the future? I doubt it.
>
> in australia we dont have the mexican border but we do have migration
> from over 200 countries around the world. our economy is certainly
> different from the days of my youth but our economy seems to still be
> surviving. we are insulated from the fears that you have in america to
> some extent because our welfare system works.
> no one on welfare makes any profit from the experience but we
> certainly dont starve.
>
I'd be interested in hearing how your welfare system works.
In the US, it isn't designed for anyone to get rich on, but
when the people on it have nothing to do but think of
ways to make money off of it, it is amazing how
inventive they can be.
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